Jokes

George: Condi! Nice to see you. What is happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George: Great. Lay it on me.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That is what i want to know.
Condi: That is what i am telling you.
George: That is what i am asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes
George:I mean the fellow’s name.
Condi: Hu
George: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu
George: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu
George:The Chineman!
Condi: Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya’ asking me for?
Condi: I am telling you Hu is leading China.
George:Well, I am asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That is the man’s name.
George: That’s who’s name?
Condi: Yes.
George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader ofChima?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.
Condi: That’s correct.
George: Then who is in China.
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name ot the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of The U.N. on the phone.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No.thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
George: No.
Condi: You don’t want Kofi.
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?
George: Milk! Will you please make me the call?
Condi: And call who?
Geprge: Who is the guy at the U.N.
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
George:Will you stay out of China?!
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: And stay out of the Middle East. Just get me the guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi.
George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.
(Condi picks up the phone)
Condi: Rice, here.
George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get chinese food in The Middle East.

stupid americans))))

))) We have similar puns

Kдufer: Sind die Blьmen kьnstlich?
Verkдufer: Natьrlich!
Kдufer: Natьrlich?
Verkдufer: Natьrlich kьnstlich!

:D)) funny

God and the man

A man visits God and says "God, do you mind if I ask you a
few questions?" God says "No, ask me anything at all."

So the man says "God, you've been around for a very long time,
so, for you, how long is a thousand years?"

God replies "For me, a thousand years is only five minutes."

The man then says "That's interesting God. And, for you,
how much is a million dollars?"

God replies "For me, a million dollars is only five cents."

The man says "Really? Well then God, could you lend me
five cents please?"

God looks at the man, smiles, and says "Of course my son.
Just wait five minutes!"

Worms

It was the first day of Biology for a group of teenagers. The
professor had arranged a short demonstration for the class.

He took a worm and dropped it into a glass of water. The worm
wriggled about in the water.

Then he took a second worm and dropped it into a glass of alcohol.
The worm immediately died.

The professor asked the students if anyone knew what the point of
the demonstration was.

A boy raised his hand and said, "You're showing us that if we drink
alcohol, we won't have worms."

m-m-m... that could be a nice method... interesting... why doesn't it really work against intestinal worms?.. or it does? o_O

Kate i've heard another inerpritation of joke with worms more russian i would say.

так, немножко словами поигрался....
You won’t find any abuse in self-abuse provided you possess appropriate skills.